I do have secrets of my own, and I don't share everything nor my opinion about other people unless I am sure I want to make them known. In my silence, I do evaluate people. Think I'm being judgmental? Look in the mirror, you judge too. I don't let my judgments get to my head before I know someone properly. I can see for myself, I don't need people telling me stuff. When people tell me stuff, I voice out my opinion not about the person, rather the behavior that's being told to me.
Now, A has been telling me things about B. B and I know we don't like each other, so we try our best to stay out of each other's ways. What's happening now is A just won't stop telling me stuff about B when, honestly, I don't care what B does with her life. She may go die for all I care.
The whole time that A has been telling me things about B, A forgot that she comes off looking really bad when she just can't stop talking about B. I didn't want to judge, but it starts to get hard to ignore how bad A looks.
A seems to be good friends with B, yes, I don't care. A can go be friends with whoever she wants. The thing that's the matter is that I can't help but feel like I can't trust A. Seeing the betrayal in their friendship, I can't help but feel insecure. I can't help but wonder, "If A tells me stuff about B, then does A also tell B stuff about me?"
I really don't want to call A "batu api", I really do love her. I want to be able to trust her, but I can't help but feel that I just can't.
I'm sorry, I love you A, but I just can't help feeling that I can't trust you.
I want to, but I just can't. I believe you but I can't trust you.
That's why, when we're friends with someone, never built that friendship based on a mutual disagreement/hatred/negative feelings towards a third person. Trust does become an issue.
I hate being in this position.
FATIN A'LIA
xox
