Nobody's proud of all the wrongs they've done, right?
I'm not proud of all the wrongs I've done, but I am happy I'd made them because I learn from my mistakes.
Over the past two and a half years, I've met so many inspiring people.
So many dedicated people.
So many dedicated people.
The good, the bad and the ugly.
Over time, obviously, things happen.
People have developed a certain image of me.
A person can say that they don't care what people say about them, but at some point you've got to take notice.
Yeah sure I don't give a shit, but then, what are friends for if you can't take their advice in right?
They fight with you to prove a point, they argue with you to fix you.
If one is the kind to not care what people say, or pay a deaf ear to everything anyone may say about you, then what makes you?
I must say that I notice people have perceived me as:
1. Ignorant.
2. Bitchy
3. Trouble maker
4. Self centred
5. Gossip
When I want them to see me as (direct ref to the list above):
1. I don't care what people say about you, I love you anyways.
2. Strong and strict when I need to be.
3. Fun
4. Confident
5. Talkative.
Yeah, people always get misread, always misunderstood.
I want to clarify this, here and now:
-I MAY BE THE BIGGEST BITCH YOU'D MET SO FAR, BUT IN TIMES OF NEED, I WILL TRY MY BEST TO BE THERE FOR YOU.
-I DON'T JUDGE YOU BY LISTENING TO OTHERS, I SEE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE AND ACCEPT YOU ANYWAYS.
-I MAY BITCH ABOUT YOU, I MAY CURSE YOU, BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY I'M STILL HERE FOR YOU.
WHAT ARE FRIENDS FOR?
I want to thank:
Fatin Shamimi for waking me up when I get too carried away. For letting me know that not everyone is against me, the world won't cave if I make one enemy.
Nazrin Shahnaz for teaching me that friends don't hold grudges and accept each other anyways. For teaching me that laughing out loud really is the best cure.
Fatin Yusof for teaching me how to be strong when we need to, not forgetting the cigs :P
Olipe Nathasa & Erlisa Chandra for being there for me when nobody else was.
I swear this list could go on forever, because everyone I've met in Limkokwing has taught me something.
Everyone's somehow spoiled me or reality bitch slapped me, and I thank you all for all the guidance that I've either directly or indirectly received from you all :)
Now, I do realize that my image is like 70% negative because I'd been displaying some bad behavior.
That behavior is because I'd actually had some hardship thrown at me, and that's taught me to cave in and put thick walls high up.
I've been defending myself against everything, that I forget, there is good in this world.
And I want to let down my walls.
I want to put the defense away.
For me to achieve this, I need everyone's support.
I need my girls back.
I could really use a second chance, I want to start over, and I could really use your help.
I'm sure you all see that I've somehow lost my way, too insecure.
I can't wait to see you all soon, and Insyallah we'll have a really nice chat over lunch & dinner dates :)
FATIN A'LIA
xox
